Sunday, November 11, 2007

Solitary company

I don't know how I came into this world
My life has been a mere blear
loneliness has always been inhere;
a strange, comfortable solitude.

I was cut off,
Right from the moment the umbilical cord snapped
and I was left in the hospital, in fresh white sheets, wrapped.
I am told that I was crying out loud,
as my mother was covered in a shroud.
I must have cried my heart out that night, for I cried no more.

Emotions fail me,
Relations don't exist.
I live, breathe, eat, sleep.
I don't let memories seep,
and I don't have promises to keep.

I lived here and there.
I live somewhere, in this crowded place.
People keep coming here-
always-
out of desperation, boredom, lust or need
For joy, for money;
and some fools, for love.
They know when they sleep here, all is asunder.
Devoid of nightmares of the day that make them shudder.
Night after night, lost in runaway pleasures,
followed by panicked, mechanical mornings.
They are men of the world,
a part of the never-ending race (or maybe chase) of life,
bravely fighting lost battles.

I watch them all come and go,
I hear their screams echo.
I see them win, I see them lose.
Until they cease to amuse-
themselves.

I am cut off, from it all.
Lone observer.
I come with no strings attached,
preferring to stay in the sidelines,
following the beelines.

An unnoticed, bleak existence.

2 comments:

  1. How does it feel?



    How does it feel to see yet never comprehend?

    To start a sentence and not finish

    To swallow the sudden lump in your throat,

    To grope in the dark & find no one

    To shuffle uneasily in sultry afternoons & not conceive

    To lovingly look into stony eyes

    How does it feel to bear life for months & deliver death?

    How does it feel?

    (comment moderation and all huh..."PHine then")

    ReplyDelete
  2. How does it feel to see yet never comprehend? - Feels delightful; for I will see things as they are, and not judge them.

    To start a sentence and not finish - that must never be done. As a good friend always tells me, the ghost of the unspoken word will get you unawares.

    To swallow the sudden lump in your throat, - swallow it, or spit it out if you can; to let it stay is the worst.

    To grope in the dark & find no one - it’ll teach one a lesson; to stop looking for things that don’t exist.

    To shuffle uneasily in sultry afternoons & not conceive - that’s a tough one. Sleeping over it helps - as long as you can sleep.

    To lovingly look into stony eyes – there’s more than meets the eye; always.

    How does it feel to bear life for months & deliver death? – I wouldn’t know.

    Thanks Lathish. It feels good to know you stopped by.

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